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Post Game Quick Thoughts: Auburn vs. Mississippi State or "Mississipi State"

Late last night on SportsCenter, Scott Van Pelt said “It’s like they (Auburn) have forgotten how to lose.”  I’d like to think they only know how win.  For all of Auburn’s freshmen and sophmores, they don’t know what it is to lose at the collegiate level.  I hope they can keep experiencing that joy for a while longer.

Football is a game of inches and today was a great reminder of that.  Dan Mullen made comments in his post game remarks that they missed three possible passing touchdowns and the game equalizer by a matter of inches.  But it’s like my cousin Chuck says, “If if’s and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a Merry Christmas.” or “Should of, could of, would of.”  In the end, Mississippi State or “Mississipi State” for some of you came up short thanks to a little used safety named Ryan Smith who came into the game with four career tackles.  Lou Bega always talks about Mambo number five.  I’ll be talking about Smith’s tackle number five for awhile.

The seventeenth straight win reminded me very much of the first win of this streak that started on New Year’s Day  almost two years ago in Tampa, Florida.  Auburn seemed to have the game in hand that day, up two scores and under eight minutes.  But Northwestern came back and forced overtime.  After Auburn was forced to kick a field goal on their possession, Northwestern lined up for a field goal attempt to send it to another overtime.  But they ran a fake and a tired, but alert Neiko Thorpe forced the ball carrier out just short of the goal line to win the game for Auburn.  Auburn’s defense faced over a hundred snaps that game.  Yesterday, they faced ninety-seven.  That win created momentum into the next season which led to the National Championship.  The question I keep asking myself is how will this team feed of the momentum of this big win?  I think we will get that answer next week against a Clemson team that runs the same offense as Auburn.

Coaches, Analysts, and Barcalounger Quarterbacks everywhere will tell you that the biggest improvement that you will see for a team is from week 1 to week 2.  I think for this Auburn team it is different due to youth.  Auburn will continually get better throughout the season as freshmen and sophomores are forced to grow up on the field.  It will pay dividends in 2012 and 2013, but may result in some heartbreaking losses this year.  I saw vast improvements from my seats yesterday all across the board that might have been missed by others.  Mississippi State was a much bigger, more talented opponent so it looked like some of the same mistakes or miscues were taking place when they were not.

Auburn’s defensive line is still playing too soft and will only get better with time.  They need to get lower and more physical and the point of attack instead of being stood up.  State was able to drive the length of the field twice at the end because they were absolutely dominating the line of scrimmage while running three and four wide receiver sets.  This spread out the linebackers and allowed Chris Relf and Vic Ballard to absolutely slash Auburn’s defense right up the middle.  But when push came to shove at the end of the game, Auburn manned up for two plays and stopped State dead in their tracks.  This week I noticed much better alignment on defense, but execution is still lacking.  The option and QB read gave Auburn problems all day.  Even on the last play, Auburn had a chance to put Relf down well short of the end zone except for the fact another Auburn safety ran right past the play in the backfield prior to Ryan Smith’s game ending tackle.

The biggest thing on offense I noticed  was that the offensive line was productive.  They were holding their blocks, creating holes, and getting a good bit more push against a more talented and experienced defensive line then they saw last week against Utah State.  The problem last week wasn’t Michael Dyer or Onterrio McCalleb, but the offensive line executing.  Last week they were getting almost no push or moving onto the second level allowing the linebackers to come in clean and blow up plays.  What a difference a week of physical practice and shaking up the rotation makes. Pass blocking was still superb and except for one pass, Barrett Trotter had a great game.  The wide receivers continue to be a strength.

Special teams were once again great and is the best thing Auburn has going for it.  Auburn had excellent field position after most kick offs and Trovon Reed did no harm fielding punts.  Cody Parkey is still consistently putting it in the end zone or kicking it high enough where returners are having a problem getting to the twenty yard line.

Overall, I was impressed with how Auburn came out this week and fought to the end and conceded nothing.  The goal line stand reminded me of the one LSU had against State two years ago.  Bad play calling and even worse execution cost Mullen a signature win in his first season.  Bad play calling and poor clock management within a minute cost him a chance at his first signature against an SEC West opponent.  He’s now 0-9 against SEC West schools not named Ole Miss.  After Thursday he will be 0-10.  That’s not too impressive for someone they call an up and coming coach or a prodigy.  There is a reason that Florida hired a defensive coordinator from Texas over an experienced head coach and someone who was their offensive coordinator for two national championships.  Let that sink in for a minute.

As for the rest of the day, I had a great time in Auburn and have some funny stories to tell about our ride in the van this week.  I’ll try and get to it in the next couple of days.  In the mean time, if you missed the Michigan - Notre Dame game due yourself a favor and watch the last fifteen minutes of that game.  Hands down one of the most entertaining games I’ve watched on television in awhile. Until next time, War Eagle!

In God's Country: Utah State Game

First off, there is no such thing as a “normal” trip in the Tiger Tail Team Van.  Something always happens.  Lee, Tommy and Larry would all tell you the same thing and at some point I hope to get to their “better” stories.  Our trips we have taken over the last several years have been no different, except for the fact we don’t stop at every Cracker Barrel along the way.  This also just happens to be different in the fact that we drive a van with a ten foot tail now.   The only real issue about this trip is that all the interesting stuff seemed to happen when I wasn’t around.  So I’m telling much of this story second hand from videos I’ve watched and random text I got all day Saturday.

The Tiger Tail Team’s trip to God’s Country was supposed to begin at 5:00 A.M.  Due to a faulty alarm clock and other mishaps,  two-thirds of the Tiger Tail Team (plus two stowaways) rolled out of Birmingham at 5:45 A.M.  The other third of the team was still quietly asleep, couch surfing in Auburn.

From what I gathered the trip was fairly tense due to a bet gone wrong involving Krispy Kreme and an eating contest.  KJ and the stowaway we shall affectionately call Kevin, started chirping to Michael, who was driving, about being hungry.  Michael reluctantly pulled over the van and was conned into actually buying the donuts via a bet.  KJ is a master negotiator.  He’s often behind most of the shenanigans that happen when this group gets together.  KJ and Kevin bet Michael that they could both eat eight donuts a piece under an hour.  If they lost the bet they would have to pay Michael back.  Eight donuts is equivalent to a whole day’s calories not to mention probably about a week’s worth of sugar… and they wanted to eat this in an hour.   So the Tiger Tail Team got back on the road with twenty four donuts in tow and two Kobayashi wannabees.  It took less than fifteen minutes for both gentleman (I use that term loosely) to down five donuts a piece.  Then either due to fear of putting on weight, having a sugar induced coma or embarrassing themselves in front of a girl, both of them didn’t down another donut.   The welching on the bet was still being discussed when they arrived at our super-secret, off campus tailgating spot we will kindly call Chris and Jill’s house.

Around 8 A.M., the Birmingham crew arrived at our undisclosed spot.  I was still cranky due to the fact that the van was almost an hour late and that he only had three hours of sleep… on a couch.  However,  I was already dressed in my “new attire” for tailgating: a blue morph suit complete with Auburn dreads and Under Armour shorts courtesy of our friends at J&M Bookstore.  For those wondering, the morph suit idea was cooked up Tuesday afternoon and immediately put into action without much thought to consequences or possible heat stroke.  Personally, I think it worked out well.

After a short ten minute break, we loaded up and made our way to J&M Bookstore.  KJ changed into his suit in store and then the fun began.  For the next thirty minutes or so we hung out in front of our van, suits and all, posing for pictures and meeting people.  We then made our way down to Toomer’s Drugs to get a drink and the fun never stopped.  Everyone wanted pictures with us.  I won’t lie, at first it was intimidating, but after a while it just became second nature.  During this time, Michael acted as our “handler” to make sure we didn’t get into any trouble.

This is where our stories diverge till after the game.   Michael, KJ, Kevin and our other stowaway (who wished to remain unnamed) took the van for a spin around campus and eventually to the fields to park for the game.  I made my way to Tiger Walk still in the morph suit.  The trek to Tiger Walk was very interesting.  I felt like Ferris Bueller racing his parent’s home trying to make it to Tiger Walk, except everyone kept stopping me for pictures.  As the day went on I got more and more comfortable in the suit and it kind of takes on its own personality.  I was just along for the ride. 

Tiger Walk went off without a hitch and I literally spent twenty minutes trying to get back to my brother’s tailgating spot.  I kept getting stopped to take pictures with kids, co-eds, alums and fans.  I’m not complaining!  It was an adventure to itself.  For those of you who are wondering, I took off the suit prior to the football game.  It was remarkably breathable for how hot and humid it was.  I plan on breaking it out again this weekend.

After the game I was able to meet up with the rest of the team and the two stowaways at the Haley Center.  We began the long walk back to field where they parked the van off of Lem Morris discussing what turned out to be a heart stopping game.  I was allowed the privilege of driving our beloved van back to the super-secret off campus tailgating spot.  She drives SOOO much better now that Tim Nash and our friends at The Caddy Shack have gotten their hands on her.

Once again we parted ways.  I began to make my way to sunny, Panama City.  KJ, Michael and friends made their way to Tenda Chick and then headed back to Birmingham.  Somewhere in south Alabama I got a text and video that said, “we put the van in a car show in Alex City.”   I wish I could post the video that was sent to me but I cannot.  Apparently the crew stopped at the Arby’s in Alex City.  Parked the van on the grass next to the last car in the show, and popped the hood.  KJ spent the next twenty minutes trying to negotiate entry and wanted to win “best in show.”  The decision to leave was made only after the team found out it was not a judged event and only door prizes were being given away.  I’m sure there are some readers of this story that could iron out the details and embellishments I got in this story and I wish they would.

The Tiger Tail Team made it home after dark and I arrived at sunny, Panama City Beach without incident.  At the time of publishing, Michael is still waiting on money for the donuts.  Right now we are loading up and getting ready to do it again this weekend.  We plan on being at J&M around 7:30 A.M. hanging out if you want to stop by and support us and one of our sponsors.  I hope you have a good week and War Eagle!

JP's Politically Incorrect Predictions: Week Deux

Well its time for my week 2 picks.  I’m still working on my story of the Tiger Tail Team from last weekend and just trying to get it all nice and neat before I publish it.  So be patient!  Plus a new website is currently being worked on and we hope to have it up soon!  Last week  I went 12-1 straight up on my picks and only 7-6 against the spread for those keeping tack at home.  If I was a gambling man, I’d look worse than Tommy Tuberville did against Florida in ’02 when he tried that fake punt on Auburn’s own 20.  So without further ado, onto my picks for week two!

WEEK 2

Central Michigan Chippewas vs. Kentucky @ Rupp Arena

Kentucky is a 13 point favorite

Last week Kentucky struggled mightily against a team that has a giant red blob as a mascot (Big Red of WKU).  Not that mascots matter.  The Chippewas played an FCS school and didn’t look that impressive on paper.   This game baffles me.  I think Kentucky wins but not sure if they will cover.  I’d like to think they will but Kentucky’s coach is quite the Joker.  I’ll take Kentucky and the over.

Kentucky 28, CMU 7

Mississippi State vs. Auburn @ God’s Country… where fans should never leave early, unless its homecoming or a blow out or some other reasonable excuse.

Mississippi State is a 7 point favorite

Mississippi State beat Memphis so bad last Thursday night that I’m reminded why Tiger fans nearly rioted when Calipari left for Kentucky: no one cares about football at Memphis.  Auburn on the other hand struggled mightily against lowly Utah State and had to have an onside kick to win the game.  The biggest improvement for a team comes between week 1 and week 2 so don’t start selling tickets yet Auburn fans. This is Mississippi State’s first road game (Memphis was basically a neutral site game for Miss. State.  No one cares about Memphis football) of the season and there is a lot of bad blood in the water.  I get the impression that Auburn was trying to do as little as possible against Utah State on offense and it nearly cost them the game.   I expect significant improvements on the defensive side of the ball for Auburn. Call me a homer, but I expect Auburn to pull off the “upset” over Megan Mullen’s Dawgs.

Auburn 34, Miss. St. 31

Alabama vs. Penn State @ Happy Valley

Alabama is a 10 point favorite

Alabama travels to Happy Valley in one of the better week 2 games to face Joe Pa and his bottle cap glasses.  Last year Alabama absolutely dominated a young Penn State team in Tuscaloosa.   But this time Penn State is at home and all grown up.  The problem for them is the world is not a vacuum and Alabama is only better on defense this year.  Both teams have excellent defenses which puts the impetus on the offense.  I like Bama’s offense better then I like States. This should be a throw-back to old football and a good smash mouth game.   I’ll take Bama to win, but I think ten points is mighty hefty.

Alabama 17, Penn State 13

Cincinnati vs. Tennessee @ Knoxville

Tennessee is a 6.5 point favorite

In a game I could care less about except for SEC Pride Tennessee takes on Cincinnati.  I expect Andy Dalton to come out and outduel Jake Locker ... oh wait, Bearcats not Bengals and Vols not Titans.  I don’t have time for this.  I’m taking Tennessee and the over.  SEC pride baby!

Tennessee 31, Cincinnati 24

South Carolina vs. Georgia @Mark Richt’s last stand

South Carolina is a 3 point favorite

I’m not sure what looked worse, Georiga’s performance against Boise State or their uniforms.  No running game and Kellen Moore nickel and dimed them to death down the field.  South Carolina struggled against East Carolina until Stephen Garcia served whatever suspension Spurrier had given him for whatever he did wrong.  I’m sure it was less than a felony, but don’t quote me on that.  To be successful in the SEC you have to be able to run the ball.  Georgia can’t and won’t be able to against South Carolina.  South Carolina can pass and run.  Garcia, Jeffreys and Lattimore are a dangerous combination and will help lead to the Kirby Smart Era at Georgia.  I like South Carolina big…

South Carolina 35, Georgia 21

Southern Illinois vs. Ole Miss @ Admiral Ackbar’s hideout

There is no line.  Frankly I’d feel sorry for anyone sitting in it to watch this game.

Ole Miss lost to BYU at home to open the season. This makes it Back to back years where Houston Nutt has lived up to his reputation.  Another FCS school is coming to town in traditional powerhouse Southern Illinois.  Ole Miss has a new QB,  a couple of running backs are hurt, and they just plain aren’t good.  I don’t think it is a stretch to say Ole Miss should win this game on talent alone, but this is Houston Nutt we are talking about.   I’ll take the fighting Ackbar’s in a game that will be closer than it should be.

Ole Miss 31, Southern Illinois 23

New Mexico vs. Arkansas @ Little Rock

Arkansas is a 36 point favorite.

New Mexico is going to be the bacon to bring home the bacon for playing the bacon.  You follow that?  More like New Mexico is going to be chopped liver.  Arkansas should cover and have room for pancakes on the side.  Bacon!

Arkansas: 52  New Mexico: 10  Bacon: delicious!

UAB vs. Florida @ The Swamp

Florida is a 22 point favorite

UAB opens there season this weekend against the Florida Gators.  Florida looked impressive in game 1.  Neil Callaway is coaching for his job this year.  I want to believe that UAB could pull of the upset, but they aren’t playing a Nick Saban coached team.  However, they are playing against one of his disciples in Will Muschamp… hmmm…  Not going to happen, but a grown man with childlike tendencies can dream can’t he?

Florida 38, UAB 24

Connecticut vs. Vanderbilt @ Nashvegas

Connecticut is a 1 point favorite

Vandy started the season off with promise!  Unfortunately, it ends there.  Every couple of years I want to believe Vandy will rise up and prove that smart, nerdy kids can play football with the giants of the SEC.  But that only happens when you are subscribing to the Tony Franklin total offense makeover.  Connecticut will win and I think I’ll take the over.

Connecticut 31, Vandy 14

LSU vs. Northwestern State @ Red Stick

There is no line. 

LSU looked impressive in their win over the mouthy Donald Ducks and defended SEC pride, unlike Georgia.  This weekend Les Miles could accidently pick up poo and it still would taste good to him.  Since it is night game I hope he doesn’t see his shadow.  The real story with this game is that they’ve played nine times prior and Northwestern State is yet to score a point.  Can Les and the world’s best bar fighters make it 10?  I think so…

LSU 59, Northwestern State 0

These are my picks and I’m sticking to them until you aren’t paying attention and I’ll edit them.  I hope everyone has a great week and War Eagle!

Post Game Quick Thoughts: Auburn vs. Utah State

Every week after the game I'm going to try and give a quick update about my thoughts on the game and the van.  Expect more detailed stories about our adventures early in the week in the blog post entitled "Tails from the Road."  We hope to have a functional and easy to use website up in the next several weeks, but for now blogspot will have to due!

All I have to say is… Wow!  My heart can’t take many more games like that.  Suffered through too many of them last year and I’m afraid there are going to be many more like this one this year.  The last time Auburn lost to a non-BCS team the year was 1991, the team was Southern Miss and the quarterback was Brett Farve.  You remember Brett Farve don’t you?  The guy who FINALLY retired from the NFL after last year.  So yes, it has been a long time since Auburn has lost to someone that was outside the big six conferences.  I still have nightmares about that game.  The first game I remember seeing Auburn lose was against Georgia in 1986 when we turned the hoses on the Dawgs for storming our field.  It was almost five years later before would have to endure the same grief.  For my Auburn fans, if any Alabama fans are giving you a good ribbing about the game this week just kindly remind them that Alabama has lost to Central Florida, Northern Illinois, La. Tech… twice, and La. Monroe since the last time Auburn lost to a non-BCS school.  It usually puts that conversation to bed.

As for the game, I put a lot of it on the coaches.  From the bleachers it appeared that Auburn was going to be real “vanilla” on offense and think it would be able to push the Utah State Aggies around.  That just wasn’t the case.  Auburn kept trying to run the ball and the Aggies were waiting on it.  From where I was sitting it often looked like they were running six or seven man fronts with a safety coming up at the snap almost every time.  During the first 56 minutes of the game, Auburn only attempted 12 passes and had almost two hundred yards.  During the last 4 minutes they attempted 11 passes and the Aggies were helpless as they had been all game against the pass.  They knew what was coming and couldn’t stop it.  I’m not sure if Gus was trying to give Mississippi State as little as possible to look at or he just didn’t feel confident in throwing the ball.  Barrett Trotter could of passed for five hundred yards yesterday if he had wanted to on that defense.  Emory Blake, Travante Stallworth and  Trovon Reed are all the real deal and was the only real bright spot on offense all day.  Either way, bad game plan on offense.

Special Teams were excellent and I applaud you Coach Boulware.  For the first time since you’ve been here all phases of the kicking game are sound and we have legitimate threats to return the ball.  Parkey’s ability to put the ball out of the end zone regardless of the wind is going to be huge this season.  Tre Mason’s ability to hit the home run he touches the ball is huge.  The fact Trovon Reed didn’t reverse field on his only fielded punt shows that they are teaching them to run forwards, not backwards.  Once again, hats off to Auburn’s special teams.

As for the defense, we played a lot of people against an experienced offense that returned 10 starters and it showed.  Auburn could not get off the field on third down and you could see bad alignments and missed assignments from the stands.  Auburn is young, real young and it almost cost them the game today.  The good news is these kids already know that anything is possible and to never give up.  Coach Roof has a lot to work on this next week or Mississippi State is going to have a field day.  Some of the problems I witnessed or easily fixable others are not and will only come with experience.  The one person I feel bad for is Jake Holland.  You could see him spending his time all the way up to the snap trying to get youngsters in the right position.  This caused him to be out of place or time or two  and a savy QB for the Aggies made some quick snaps and reads to take advantage of it.  They say the biggest  improvement for a team comes between week 1 and 2.  I hope they are right.

As for the Tiger Tail Team and the van… boy do we have some stories from this weekend.  We’ll be getting together Monday Night to talk about them.  Be prepared to read about donuts, morph suits and car shows.  And if you saw a man that was completely blue with dreads, orange shorts and a tail or another guy that was completely orange wearing a white shirt and blue shorts with a tail…  That was us and we had a blast!  Until next time War Eagle!

JP's Politically Incorrect Predictions: Week 1

Good afternoon and welcome to JP’s Week One Predictions.  My favorite thing about week one predictions is that you usually get off to a fast start with looking like a genius.  This weekend’s slate of games is so weak that even Danny Sheridan could get it mostly right.  With that being said, the only “real” two games with National Championship implications involve SEC teams.  For the purpose of this blog, I’ll mainly stick with predicting the SEC with a few exceptions.  This week I’m going to keep in chronological order.

WEEK 1

Mississippi State vs. Memphis @ Graceland

Miss. State is a 30 point favorite.

Mississippi State heads to Memphis and the home of the Delta Blues and countless bad Elvis personators to open up the SEC football season against C-USA perennial powerhouse Memphis.  Unfornately for Memphis, this is not a basketball game.  However, Mississippi State may put up a basketball like numbers in the Liberty Bowl.  I like for Megan Mullen’s Bullies to cover.

Mississippi State 42, Memphis 7

Kentucky vs. Western Kentucky… in Nashville

Kentucky is a 19.5 point favorite.

The battle for Kentucky kicks off game two of the SEC season… in Nashville.  John Calipari looks to reload and return the Wildcats to the NCAA.  Joker Phillips is looking over his shoulders for Batman, which could be anyone in the SEC, except Vandy.  The Wildcats lost a lot off last year’s team, but they are playing a team nicknamed the Hill toppers.  I’ll take the Wildcats to cover.

Kentucky 38, WKU 17

Utah State Vs. Auburn in God’s Country

Auburn is a 21 point favorite

The Barrett Trotter pencil moustache era kicks off in Auburn this weekend against a team that gave Oklahoma a scare last year.  There are lots of new faces on the field for Auburn, but just too much talent and depth for me to see this game being competitive into the second half.  I expect this to be a lot like the Arkansas State game last year minus Cam Newton.  Look for more fireworks on the edges and for a freshman running back named Tre “De la Soul” Mason.

Auburn 49, Utah State 10

Kent State vs. Alabama @ Jordan Hare West

Alabama is an eleventy billion favorite (38)

Alabama opens the 2011 in defense of their 14^th Mythical National Championship.  Kent State spent the last couple of day helping a community devastated by disaster.  Unfornately for  Kent State, Bama has been practicing. Bama is one of the deepest teams in the nation and they will show why this weekend.  I expect a shut out.

Alabama 52, Kent State (-4)

BYU vs. Ole Miss @Oxford, King’s College

BYU is a 3 point favorite.

Usually when I hear the Cougars are coming to town I go to get a haircut, some nice clothes and throw on some sex panther cologne on (60% of the time, it works every time!) Unfortunately for me and Ole Miss, it’s not those Cougars.  These Cougars left Utah three weeks ago riding bikes and wearing white shirts.  That’s right, it’s the BYU Cougars coming to town.  To be honest, this is the hardest non-important game to pick.  Houston Nutt has a knack for beating teams he shouldn’t and then getting destroyed by teams he should dominate.  I never thought I say this, but I miss the days of Ed Orgeron and Brent Schaeffer. Make me eat crow Houston Nutt!

BYU 31, Ole Miss 24

Montana Vs. Tennessee @ Rocky Top

Tennessee is a 20 point favorite

Tennessee tries to avoid losing to another Our Lady of the Blind to open the season (See Wyoming vs. UT, 2008).  Derek Dooley shouldn’t have his hands full week one.  Unfortunately for him, Janzen Jackson probably will somewhere else.  I expect Tennessee to struggle early and then pull away and cover.  Hopefully the Knoxville PD won’t have to get involved for Montana’s sake.

Tennessee 34, Montana 13

Missouri State vs. Arkansas @middle of nowhere

Arkansas is a 42 point favorite

Arkansas opens the season vs. a Div 1-AA opponent again.  Just say the name Tyler Wilson like Tennessee fans said Eric Berry.  I predict a coming out party for him.  Fortunately for Tyler, this is the type of coming out party that they tolerate in Arkansas.  However, I don’t see them covering.

Arkansas 49, SE Missouri State 14

Florida International vs. Florida @some swamp in Florida

Florida is a 35 point favorite

Florida keeps it local to open the BOOM Era in Gainesville.  Charlie Weiss’s appetite for destruction and Big Mac’s will reign supreme on Saturday Night.  I expect John Brantley to finally look halfway decent and Jeff Demps to run wild. Florida wins going away for BOOM’s sake and for the small, unsuspecting children in Weiss’s path.

Florida 45, Florida International 7

East Carolina vs. South Carolina@ Legion Field East better known as Columbia fairgrounds

South Carolina is a 21 point favorite.

The key number for Stephen Garcia is six.  Avoid pick sixes and suspension number six.  Seeing the sign of the devil anyone?  The only numbers that East Carolina will remember are 21 (Lattimore) and 1 (Jeffreys).  Don’t worry they still ALMOST haunt me too from September of last year. ALMOST

South Carolina 42, East Carolina 17

Elon vs. Vanderbilt @ Nashvegas

Vanderbilt is an 11 point favorite.

Signs of the Apocalypse: Vanderbilt is a double digit favorite.  I can almost hear Ole Miss’s almost mascot Admiral Ackbar screaming “It’s a trap!”  Then I’m reminded that it’s just Elon.  The James Franklin Era begins in Nashville with a win.

Vandy 28, Elon 14

Boise State vs. Georgia @Thunderdome

Boise State is a 4 point favorite.

Two teams enter, one teams leaves!  Actually, both teams will leave. Just one will leave with their tail tucked between their legs.  Since Bulldogs have a nub of one you should see where I’m going with this.  Boise is a good team.  Mark Richt likes underachieving in Athens.  Fortunately for him, this game is in Atlanta.  Aaron Murray has a big night, but Isiah Crowell gets humbled.  Obedience lessons will be required!

Georgia 31, Boise State 28

Oregon vs. LSU @ Super Thunderdome

LSU is a favorite if there is a bar fight.  Otherwise, pick’ em.

Last Year I got to see Oregon first hand on the biggest stage.  I believe Auburn left a lot on the table even without an injured Cam Newton.  LSU’s big uglies are just bigger and uglier than Oregon’s.  I look for Les Miles to taste the artificial turf and decide it’s going to be a good night.  Look for LSU to kick ‘em if they are down.

LSU 31, Oregon 24

Possible Upset of the Week

USF 24,Notre Dame 20.  Skip Holtz does it for daddy.

These are my uninformed picks and I’m sticking to them until you forget what I typed.  Have a great day and War Eagle!

JP's Quick and Dirty SEC Preseason Predictions.

Good Afternoon and welcome to JP’s preseason predictions.  Fall camp is done and we are literally just a day away from kickoff of the SEC football season on Thursday Night.  Mississippi State will be taking on Memphis in the home of the Delta Blues and Kentucky will be playing Western Kentucky in… wait for it… Nashville.  How two Kentucky teams end up playing in Tennessee on Thursday night is beyond me.  I’m guessing the men’s basketball team has practice on Saturday in Lexington and they wanted to make sure they didn’t interfere. But in all seriousness, I can’t fault these teams for wanting to play elsewhere. If I lived in Kentucky I would be trying to get away too.  But enough of my rambling about Kentucky and onto my short, but sweet SEC Preseason predictions…

I’m sure most of you who are reading this have spent countless hours on message boards and reading fine periodicals like Lindy’s educating yourself about the 2011 season so I’m going to keep it simple.  In an effort to keep this politically correct I’m going to address each team with a short compliment sandwich. First I’ll type something positive, and then negative, and then a positive to finish it off.  So here we go:

SEC West

Alabama.

Great defense, Suspect at quarterback and wide receiver, Great rushing attack which is nicely attired.

Predicted record:             10 – 2   

Why?:  SEC West in minefield, Defense will set tempo. QB is huge question mark.

Better if:  QB is effective and a real game manager.

Worse if:  Trent Richardson gets hurt.

Arkansas.

Great offense, broken ankles suck, bacon… everybody loves bacon!

Predicted Record:            10 – 2

Why?:  Bacon is nutriti… I mean Petrino is great offensive mind, going to miss Kniles Davis in the 4^th quarter. Bacon.

Better if:  Tyler Wilson lives up to hype.

Worse if:  Defense hasn’t improved.

Auburn.

Dynamic offense, forever young, finally some depth

Predicted Record:            8 – 4      

Better if:  The team is whisked away from Never Never land and grows up fast, Barrett Trotter shaves mustache.

Worse if:  All the “experts” are right.  Danny Sheridan does not count.

LSU.

Great defense, Les Miles, overall depth

Predicted Record:            10 – 2

Better if:  They have effective quarterback play

Worse if:  Jordan Jefferson “gets out of jail” OR Les Miles taste the grass and sees his shadow.

Ole Miss.

Admiral Ackbar, Black Bear, Houston Nutt – only one of these belong

Predicted Record:            5 – 7

Better if:  Houston Nutt gets fired midseason

Worse if:  How could it get much worse?  You have a Black Bear as your mascot.

Mississippi State.

Depth, Megan Mullins and her cowbell, Croom’s recruits

Predicted Record:            7 – 5

Better if:  Get off to a hot start

Worse if:  QB play is ineffective OR unable to find “rented mule”

SEC East

Florida.

Gainesville’s got Talent, Charlie Weiss’s diet, team speed

Predicted Record:            7 – 5      

Better if:  Didn’t have to play UT, Bama, LSU, Auburn and FSU

Worse if:  Charlie Weiss is not fed OR Neil Callaway’s Blazers are set to “STUN”

Georgia.

Ten years of depth and talent, wasted talent, 200 bars in Athens

Predicted Record: 8 – 4

Better if:  Survive Chick-fil-A Thunderdome and Spurrier

Worse if:  Richt keeps his job.

Kentucky.

Midnight Madness is October 15, Walls went pro, Nobody notices football

Predicted Record:  6 – 6

Better if:  Find a way past Florida or Mississippi State

Worse if:  Calipari starts losing in November

South Carolina.

Fifth Suspension is a charm, high expectations, Alshon and Marcus

Predicted Record:  9 – 3

Better if:  Garcia doesn’t make it six, as in suspension or pick

Worse if:  See above.

Tennessee.

Eric Berry Janzen Jackson Pat Martin, lack of depth, off week before Buffalo

Predicted Record:  6 – 6

Better if:  Dooley could keep Players

Worse if: ANYONE gets hurt.

Vanderbilt.

James Franklin, perennial doormat, at least we’re in Nashville

Predicted Record:  4 – 8

Better if:  They beat someone they shouldn’t

Worse if:  They don’t beat Elon in week 1.

So there you have it, my quick and dirty predictions for the SEC season.  No national championship contender. A three way tie in the SEC west and Spurrier does it again… and gets beat in Atlanta by whomever they play.  If you got confused by my preview remember the compliment sandwich: positive, negative, positive.  For those of you wanting a full Auburn preview you’ll have to wait till after week 1.  I won’t be sure what we actually have got until then.  Thanks for reading my quick and dirty preview and War Eagle!